


Invitation

by EmitTime



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Ambiguous Slash, Gen, German Sparkle Party, Humor, I Can't Believe I Wrote This, I Don't Even Know, Innuendo, M/M, Mild Sexual Humor, Parody, Party Pants, Rubber Boots, Very Hardcore Sparkle Party
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-24
Updated: 2014-11-24
Packaged: 2018-02-26 20:39:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,002
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2665607
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EmitTime/pseuds/EmitTime
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Austria wants Switzerland to meet him at a certain function, but Vash is simply perturbed by his neighbor's lesser known pastime.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Invitation

**.**

* * *

The incessant vibrations and familiar, generic – _neutral_ – ring tone woke him up.

Eyes still closed, Vash frowned for a moment from within that place between dreams and lucidity. Then the impending realization of a possible crisis disrupted the hazy peace, and he was rolling over to grab his cell phone.

He peered at the softly glowing screen through squinted eyes, sighing at the name spelled out in black. Swiping his index finger across the screen to accept the call, he sat up halfway against his pillow and held the phone to his ear.

Instantly, a cacophony of background noise erupted from the speaker, a tell-tale din of glasses clinking, music pumping, and voices shouting. Above the sounds of indulgence and German techno, a familiar voice greeted him with slurred enthusiasm.

" _Hallo_ , Switzy!"

_Not an emergency, then. Just a nuisance._

"What, Austria?" Vash resisted the urge to grit his teeth. He'd been woken up in the middle of the night for _this_? Whatever it was, it was bound to be less enjoyable than sleep. It sounded as though Roderich was partying, which was...concerning, but honestly none of his business. It wasn't as though it was still Vash's responsibility to look after him or anything, after all. He didn't have to care...

That didn't mean he'd ever stopped, but truly, that was beside the point.

"Switzy, _liebling._ " Austria's voice was softened, lacking its usual clip and heavily accented almost to the point of a drawl. He sounded both more vulnerable and more brash than usual, somehow. "What are you wearing?"

" _What?"_ Sputtering, Vash held the phone away from his ear and glared at it, then glanced down at his frilly pink pajamas – _he appreciated his sister and she worked hard on those pajamas, he was_ not _ashamed to wear them_ , _stupid Austria calling him up at such an hour to ask such stupid questions..._

"That is none of your business." He muttered, rubbing at his eyes. "Where are you, anyway?"

"I don't know. Gilbert and Ludwig came to get me." Roderich laughed, in that unrestrained way which Vash so rarely heard."I'm at the bar!"

" _Ja,_ I can _tell._ " The blonde bit out crankily.

Roderich sounded far more intoxicated than Vash had known him to be in quite some time. Although it wasn't overly unusual for Austria to occasionally go out for drinks - it was a vital part of his culture, after all - it was rare for the musician to allow himself to get drunk in public. Roderich favored his dignity and crisp composure too much for such immature acts. There had to be a special reason for his behavior tonight, Vash was sure of it.

It was never peaceful for him when the former aristocrat decided to go and get hammered. Thankfully it didn't happen often, but when it did, Vash had to deal with these types of calls. Roderich would call him up to whine about whatever had gotten him so bothered, to prattle on about this or that, or still worst of all – to _talk._

Austria was somewhat of an unpredictable drunk. Depending on his mood and the company he was in, he could be woeful or playful. His loosened tongue and addled mind made for uncharacteristic behavior, often causing him to be more brutally honest than usual, or even overly affectionate.

Vash hoped it wouldn't be a _talking_ night, because those always ended with his heartstrings all in knots, listening to his old friend with mixed feelings as Roderich said things he'd never utter sober, and would never remember in the morning.

_Just like you claim not to remember when we were younger, how can you not remember when I still do? I've always wondered, Roderich..._

"What do you want from me, Austria?" He muttered, glancing at the clock. Half past two in the morning, not a record-breaker for these types of calls. "It's way past a polite hour to call someone, you know."

"I want to see _you_." Roderich told him, his tone sweetly demanding. "Put some sparkles on and come over here..."

The bizarre request took Vash by surprise, his eyes widening. With annoyance and trepidation, he realized it must be one of _those_ nights.

"Okay. I see. Go home, Austria." He sighed. "You're drunk."

"I am certainly most not...not certainly most... I am not drunk! Vash..." Bleary and pleading, Roderich called his name. "Vash, _bitte_! Come, just this once. Bring your party pants! Everyone is waiting for you!"

"No." The blonde asserted firmly. "I tell you the same answer every time you try this, Roderich. It is still no!"

"But I - I want to see you." Austria retorted incredulously. "It isn't the same without you here."

To Vash's horror, he heard a faint sniffle on the other line.

_Gott_ , if Roderich was this far gone already, it surely meant that his party companions were well past drunk, too. _Verdammt_ , Ludwig and Gilbert. He didn't understand why Roderich collaborated with those two on these stupid parties...

"It's very rude, you know, to refuse the invitation to the German Sparkle Party time and time again!"

"Too bad." He scoffed, pushing a few locks of hair away from his eyes. I don't do... _those_ parties."

As far as Vash could tell, there were two degrees to such functions, and they were vastly different. There was the German Sparkle Party, which was...not terribly appalling, just stupid and a waste of time, in his opinion. They were still somewhat tame and carried a few standards compared to their counterpart. Those were the kind Roderich or Ludwig normally hosted, though they would rarely ever broadcast that they took part in such frivolous activities.

That was the typical German Sparkle Party, and _then_ there was the...Very Hardcore Sparkle Party.

Those were the kind that made Austria accidentally drunk-dial people now and then, with plenty of explaining to do in the morning. Those were the kind that Switzerland would bet anything that Prussia was usually responsible for.

And if Austria was this inebriated, he could also bet the two brothers were already drunk out of their minds, too, which meant that there would be no one present to talk sense into the musician.

Vash groaned to himself. "You are _such_ a pain."

Ignoring the statement, Roderich asked, " _Schweiz_... Do you know what I would do to you if you were here?"

"I know what _I'd_ do if I were there. I'd be dragging you home this instant."

_I'm not even drunk and even I regret this night._ Switzerland rolled his eyes, since his neighbor had no way of witnessing such an action. "Fine, what...would you do?" He took the bait tentatively, drawing his knees up to his chest and feeling heat rush to his cheeks against his will.

"If you were here, I would give you a hug and kiss and – and pour glitter on you."

" _What?"_ The older nation spat out in shock.

"Glitter, _liebling_." Austria tittered, a crackling sound coming over the phone speakers as if he were moving around. "We're all covered in it!" He added cheerfully.

"That doesn't sound like a good thing, Roderich – and I'm not your _liebling,_ you fool!" Pinching the bridge of his nose, Vash forced himself to breath calmly and evenly. "Being covered in glitter is _not_ a respectable thing. Don't you see – if you were in your right mind at the moment, you'd realize that."

"You just don't understand." Austria insisted. "It's – the sparkles, _Schweiz_ , the sparkles are so important!"

_I should record one of these conversations and play it back to him,_ the blonde thought. _He'd never drink again..._

Still, loathe as he was to admit it, Vash would prefer that Roderich call him in such a state instead of anyone else... At least so he could be sure that no one else used the musician's drunken occurrence against him, if he could do little else about the trouble Austria got himself into...

"Just don't call anyone else tonight, alright?" He ordered tiredly, rubbing his temple.

" _Ja_ , well - " Austria paused as a loud, unintelligible chorus of shouts and whoops sounded in the background. "Oh, I have to go anyway. We're going to play with Prussia's balls. _Servus, Schweiz!_ "

"Wait, what? You're doing _what_? Roderich Edelstein!" Something that sounded suspiciously like a kiss being blown came over the phone, then the call cut off abruptly, leaving Switzerland to growl in frustration.

He dropped the phone carelessly onto the comforter, staring up at his blank ceiling.

"And they wonder why I have to shoot things..."

**.x.x.x.**

* * *

At the undisclosed bar, enthusiastic shouts and yells met Gilbert as he stepped up on a chair, holding a bag full of brightly-colored ping pong balls.

"I have the balls, guys! Who's ready for Awesome Beer Pong?"

Amidst the cheers, Roderich leaned back against his bar stool and looked over at Ludwig, who was flushed with intoxication and not so much holding his beer as he was clinging to it.

"I think I'll just watch, personally." He confided, followed by the self-satisfied statement of, "I think my call with Switzy went well. Perhaps he'll come next time!"

Ludwig just muttered intelligibly and swiped some gold glitter off his cheek. A yellow glow necklace hung about his neck, clacking against the countertop when he slumped down to lean his head against the bar. "At least _bruder_ is having a good time..." He slurred.

" _Ja_ , of course, now that he found his balls. We all thought he'd lost them." The Austrian remarked innocently, hair mussed and glasses slightly askew as he bobbed his head slightly to the lively music.

Oh, these parties were always a better idea at the time rather than after the fact...

**.x.x.x.**

* * *

It was almost noon when his phone began to ring, and Switzerland already had some suspicion as to who it would be. Sure enough...

" _Nun, guten Tag_. I bet you feel wonderful today."

Roderich groaned weakly in response, his voice softened and dry with exhaustion. "Don't yell. I have _got_ to stop being tricked into the Very Hardcore Sparkle Parties... I didn't know what I was getting into."

"Really? I thought the whole thing was right up your alley." Vash deadpanned.

"Very amusing." His neighbor sighed halfheartedly, the sound of a coffeemaker percolating faintly in the background. "Anyway, I saw in my call history that I called you last night, and I wanted to make sure... I didn't make you uncomfortable, did I?" The former aristocrat asked cautiously.

Pausing, Switzerland took a moment to shut his eyes. "No..." He finally lied. They seemed to have a history of this, lying to each other with good intentions. Oh, certainly they'd lied to each other with sordid intentions over the years as well, but those times now existed only in memories of the past and nightmares – which occasionally were one and the same.

"You just said a bunch of stupid things and then hung up." He explained, taking care to sound insouciant and unconcerned.

"Ah, well..." Vash could practically _hear_ Roderich wince to himself at the thought of such undignified behavior.

"I apologize for having disturbed you, and wasting your time..." He trailed off, before adding in a small voice, "Do you want to know the worst part of last night?"

Switzerland thought back to their late conversation, his brow wrinkling. "What...?" He asked provisionally. "What happened?"

"Oh, Switzy, it's just terrible..." Austria sighed heavily. "The glitter, _it won't come off_."

The blonde blinked twice, and then informed his neighbor, "I'm hanging up now, Austria. You call me when you're over this...sparkle business."

Honestly, why would Vash need to go through the trouble of attending these parties when he was always dragged in somehow, anyway?

Although, he couldn't deny the thought of crashing one of those functions occasionally crossed his mind...but that wouldn't be very neutral at all, now would it?

Even worse, he didn't know what he'd do if he went and wound up _enjoying_ it...

* * *

**.**

_ Ende _

**.**

**Author's Note:**

> I have nothing to say for myself.


End file.
